Dealing with rejection by Marilyn Arayata – Inspirational Speaker, Author/Columnist

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Of course, rejection hurts, and a series of rejections hurts even more – rejection of a job or loan application, business or wedding proposal, a solution to a problem, or even a simple invitation! Can you identify? There is always pain whenever somebody experiences rejection, but it does not mean a death sentence!

Wise people take every rejection just as a scratch. “Ouch!” Then they move on to the next plan or option. They know that rejections do not diminish their worth as persons and their abilities to accomplish great things. Rejections do not always mean their ideas are not okay. It is just that sometimes people have other priorities.

Did you know that the founders of the Reader’s Digest, one of the most widely-read magazines in the world, were rejected by several publishers? Did you know that Jack Ma, one of the richest Chinese men, was rejected by KFC? They did not dwell on the pain. They did not give up. Why should you?

The safest way to be is to “just be” – to stop saying or doing anything productive and meaningful… to avoid setting bigger goals and expanding one’s horizon. But life, as one philosopher once said, is “never just a being”. It is “a becoming, a relentless flowing on”.

For those who believe that life must never be stagnant, for people who refuse to accept complacence as a way of life, rejections are inevitable. They do not keep a record of rejections… no flashback, so they do not feel the pain anymore, just the excitement of working on the next option.

Do not be onion-skinned when people say “No” or when you don’t hear from them. Remember  Jack Ma and the founders of the Reader’s Digest. Life is a series of options! Possibilities are endless.

Like and share this column if you agree.

(Marilyn Arayata: hope and enthusiasm advocate/inspirational author and speaker. E-mail inspire.equip@gmail.com)

*First appeared in my column, Inspire and Equip! (Tempo, Manila Bulletin Publishing Corp.) Sept. 18, 2016

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No part of this work may be reproduced, photocopied, stored in a retrieval system, broadcast, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

 

 

Inspire and Equip! Quote #1

Whatever your struggles, know that you have options. People who see options find hope. -Marilyn Arayata, Suicide Awareness and Prevention, Tempo, September 11, 2016

(Like the Hope Boosters page for posts that inspire and equip!Marilyn Arayata: your partner in preventing bullying, depression, and suicide. Email inspire.equip@gmail.com)

Read more at http://tempo.com.ph/2016/09/11/suicide-awareness-and-prevention/#qL1PVATP6hXPzUQh.99

“Know your worth… your life matters!”

Inspirational author and columnist Miss Marilyn Arayata (Miss Hope Booster) was the resource speaker in this pro-active approach to preventing suicide. The event was organized by the Student Development and Placement Center of San Sebastian College – Recoletos de Cavite (Basic Education Department).

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Are you being bullied?

(First appeared in my column, Inspire and Equip!, Tempo/Manila Bulletin Publishing Corp., August 21, 2016)

Not all of them hurt their targets physically. Many of them use other means to show power over their victims: name-calling (using hurting/unfair labels and terms in order to make other people feel/look inferior and unacceptable. There are also those who take or hide other people’s personal things, including food and money. Bullies also exclude their victims in activities and conversations to make them feel lost and alone.

Have you experienced any of these? Adults employ such unfair means. What is even more alarming is that more and more children are reportedly bullying neighbors, classmates, and schoolmates. Physical absence is never a hindrance. Bullies also use the internet to make other people feel powerless and hopeless.

60 Marilyn Arayata_Are you being bullied Aug. 21, 2016 Inspire and Equip

Psychologists say that bullies were also victims of bullying themselves. (The trouble with not seeking proper counseling is that wounds do not get healed even many years after the bullying incident, so beware!) They relish the fact that another individual is hurt, inconvenienced, and afraid due to their actions. In making another person feel powerless, they feel powerful. How pathetic!

What physical or emotional wounds were inflicted upon you by a bully? Have you at least talked about it?

If you know where the other person is coming from, it will be easy for you to understand his/her behavior. However, this should not stop you from protecting yourself and asserting your rights as an individual. The support of your family, your friends, and concerned authorities is very much needed. Seek help from trained counselors, too. Join a support group.

Be strong and confident. If people are intentionally trying to hurt you and pester you, they are only exposing their true color. Their words and actions tell the world that they are actually the ones who have a problem.  Sometimes you do not need to react to them. Choose your battles.

Keep calm. All of us will be held accountable for our words and actions.

You are here to accomplish great things. Focus your time and your energy on things that will make you better, not bitter.

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No part of this work may be reproduced, photocopied, stored in a retrieval system, broadcast, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

 

Don’t let anger control you

 

(First published in my column, “Inspire and Equip!”, Tempo/Manila Bulletin Publishing Corp., Aug. 16, 2015)

“Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

Do you agree with Ambrose Bierce?

When I heard of the old nut rage involving an airline executive, I had only one word to describe her response to cabin crew for serving macadamia nuts in a bag instead of on a plate – exaggerated!

According to thenationalpost.com, a Seoul court found the executive “guilty of forcing a flight to change its route, obstructing the flight’s captain in the performance of his duties, forcing a crew member off a plane and assaulting a crew member”.

Yes, the executive’s response was indeed exaggerated (in fact, unbelievable), but come to think of it, didn’t we, at any point, also respond in an exaggerated manner when we were angry or displeased?

It’s hard to think clearly and say the right things when we are angry, so it’s important to control ourselves before anger controls us. The following questions will help us learn about our own fits of anger.

  1. Identify the top three things that make you angry. What were the regrettable things you said or did? Was it worth it?
  2. What are the worst things you might say when these things happen again? How about the worst things you are capable of doing when the same things happen again? What will be the consequences? Is it worth it?
  3. Can’t you respond in a relaxed and peaceful manner – explaining your side and asserting your right in a polite, civilized manner?

Answering all these questions truthfully will help you respond to a provocative situation with wisdom and self control. In case you are provoked to anger, seek to learn from similar situations and avoid any exaggerated or emotionally charged response.

Sometimes we are easily angered because we are highly stressed, so the simplest things already irritate us. If this is your case, you need a break, maybe at least two days away from the source of stress, just to enjoy life and do some soul searching without mobile gadgets and internet connection.

What can we learn from the story of the airline executive? There was too much fuss over something trivial. The punishment was not commensurate to the offense, if serving macadamia nuts in a bag instead of on a plate were an offense.

Anger is said to be “an ill wind that blows out the lamp of reason and good judgment”. Never speak, act, or decide when you are angry. It’s better to “freeze” for a few seconds when angry, and strive to keep your composure than to lose your self control and say or do something you will surely regret. If you really need to express your displeasure and assert your right, you can always do so in a polite, civilized manner. Keep calm and enjoy the benefits!

*All rights reserved

No part of this work may be reproduced, photocopied, stored in a retrieval system, broadcast, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

 

C5 Don't let anger control you

Effective Writing for Students (A Seminar-Workshop)

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It’s an issue of power!

The issue of language is an issue of power. Hindi wikang Ingles ang nagbibigkis sa atin, kundi ang ating sariling wika. Kapag nabawasan ang paggamit at pagpapaunlad sa wikang Filipino, ano pa ang magbibigkis sa atin? Lalo tayong magkakawatak-watak… at may mga pwersang magsasamantala sa pagkakawatak-watak na ito upang isulong ang mga polisiya na hindi pabor sa nakararaming Pinoy. Hindi ito isang usapin lamang na pang-akademiko. Thirteen years akong nagturo ng English… at salamat sa mga naging guro ko sa PNU, naunawaan ko (at patuloy na nauunawaan) ang connection between language and power; connection between language and society. Hindi ko kayang manahimik sa issue na ito. Mahal ko ang English, pero mas mahal ko ang sariling wika ko at bayan ko! Kung tinututulan natin ang kawalan ng gender equity at ang stereotyping… kung nilalabanan natin ang linguistic annihilation of women in texts, lalong dapat labanan natin ang tangkang annihilation of Filipino. ‪#‎TanggolWika‬

Marilyn C. Arayata
Author, “Hope Boosters for Fired up Souls”
Book Editor and Speaker
Hope Booster (Hope and Enthusiasm Advocate)
Former DLSU-D Faculty and Publications Coordinator

Hope Booster (Definition)

Beat hope bUsters with hope BOOSTers! About hope boosters.meaning

Hope Boosters for Fired up Souls

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Never give up!