Repel Toxic People – Anti-Bullying Advocate, Depression and Suicide Prevention Speaker

118 Y3 Marilyn Arayata_Repel toxic people


Inspirational Author, Bullying, Depression and Suicide Prevention Advocate

Yes, you can! – Inspirational Author, Columnist and Speaker Marilyn Arayata


#YesYouCan  #InspireandEquip Tempo/Manila Bulletin Publishing Corp., Feb. 5, 201784-y2-yes-you-can-marilyn-arayata

Inspirational Author, Columnist and Speaker Philippines


Inspirational Author, Columnist and Speaker – Philippines


Love them now

*First appeared in my column, INSPIRE AND EQUIP! (Tempo/Manila Bulletin Publishing Corp.), Oct. 30, 2016

How can I forget the fuming woman with kids who had to wait for an available shopping mall stroller for the elderly? She said in a loud voice, “Sumama-sama pa kasi! Ipapasyal ko lang naman ang mga ito! Umuwi na tayo!”  I wondered if she was referring to her own parent, or an in-law. Whatever the answer, I am sure of one thing – her kids will become (Heaven forbid) just like her!

How do you treat or label old people, including your own parents – especially when nobody is looking?

I have seen and heard of people who sacrificed almost everything for their children – only to be told (verbally, nonverbally, or both) when they are old, sickly, clumsy, and penniless – that they have become such a burden. What could be more heartbreaking than the fact that many of them have chosen to live like nomads or paupers even if they have families capable of caring for them?

According to reports, there is an increasing number of Filipino elderly who are forced to stay in homes for the aged. Foreign media have exposed the cruelties committed by a few employees of nursing homes abroad. You have also probably heard of similar stories from Filipino caregivers working in other countries. Even if such stories are “isolated” and unknown to the majority of old people, I can not see how Filipinos who lived practically for their families can even imagine themselves being “thrown” in such institutions. In our culture, senior citizens are valued and respected. Have the times changed?

For people who can not boast of anything but their children and grandchildren… for people in their twilight years, I think the mere idea of living in a home for the aged is a nightmare. Maybe they think protesting is useless, but their silence does not mean they agree to it.

Are you pressured, irritable, and tired due to the rising demands of caring for your children and your aging parents? Look for trustworthy relievers so you can have some time for yourself. Ask your relatives to do their share. Financial support is important and is appreciated, but it is not enough.

The Lord is pleased when He sees that you care about the elderly. No one else can take of your parents the way loving relatives do.  They need you now. Remember, they never gave up on loving you. Love them now!

These are lines from a poem by Ali Ben Abu Tabb: “Love me now while I am living/Do not wait ‘til I am gone; and then chisel it in marble – warm love words on ice-cold stone”!

(Marilyn Arayata: inspirational author and speaker, your partner in preventing bullying, depression, and suicide. E-mail Like and share this column. Like the Hope Boosters Facebook Page, too!)


Inspirational Speaker – Philippines


Anti-Bullying, Depression and Suicide Speaker, Author and Columnist

inspirational-speaker-author-and-columnist-philippines-marilyn-arayata_anti-bullying-depression-and-suicide-speakerInspire and Equip! (Tempo) columnist Miss Marilyn Arayata addresses the students of San Sebastian College Recoletos de Cavite (Basic Education Department) in the recently held suicide prevention and awareness seminar. Marilyn is the author of the book “Hope Boosters for Fired up Souls”. For many years, she served as faculty member of the Languages and Literature Department of De La Salle University-Dasmariñas (DLSU-D) in Cavite. Marilyn started giving inspirational seminars at the age of 23.

Preventing depression

 First appeared in my column, “Inspire and Equip!” (Tempo/Manila Bulletin Publishing Corp.) Oct. 11, 2015

Who would have thought that behind his smiles and his awesome dance movements, Gab Valenciano was, at one point, depressed and even suicidal (according to a Facebook post that was shared so many times)?

The thing with depression, it does not choose its victims – rich or poor, famous or unknown, young or old, employed or jobless. Most of the time, those who suffer from it choose to do so in silence, so without proper management and support, the suffering is prolonged and aggravated. In many cases, it even leads to suicide.

Here are some tips to help prevent depression.

  1. Get rid of negative thoughts. Just as a computer’s anti-virus program scans and separates infected files to prevent them from harming your computer, “scan” your thoughts and separate the negative to prevent them from harming your health and your well-being.
  2. Learn to accept things as they are. It is hard to cope when our ideal is shattered or when our expectations are not met by other people. We have no choice but to accept that life is not perfect and not everybody is perfect. Resisting this reality will lead to severe loneliness and may complicate matters.
  3. Do something relaxing or productive instead of worrying about the future. If we’ll rely on our limited strength, we will be disappointed, but if we’ll entrust our future in the hands of our all-powerful and all-knowing Creator, things will become bearable.
  4. Increase your social interaction. Isolating yourself when you are lonely will only make you lonelier! Take time to enjoy conversations with people who radiate positive energy.
  5. Focus on something that makes you happy – a hobby, a show, a mission, or a project. Devote more time in a meaningful activity so you won’t have time and energy for depressing concerns anymore.
  6. Eat nuts, fruits and vegetables – peanut, cashew, corn, mango, banana, and broccoli that help increase the neurotransmitter called serotonin, “a naturally occurring chemical that can influence mood and appetite” (
  7. Make physical activities like playing, swimming, exercising, biking, or dancing a part of your daily routine. These activities give endorphins, the happy hormone.
  8. Let go of the things you lost and the relationships that have ended. You already had them and enjoyed them. Nothing is permanent. Show the world a brave, new you and be open to new things.

There will always be disappointments, worries, stressors, and heartaches. Do everything in your power to cope.

Although it is possible to recover from depression, strive to prevent it. Also, make it a habit to scatter seeds of encouragement. Who knows if the person next to you is just like Gab in the past who appeared happy, successful, and rich but hiding depression and suicidal thoughts!

Like and share this article to help happy-looking people who suffer in silence.

Find more tips on preventing depression. Get a copy of my book, “Hope Boosters for Fired up Souls”, available at selected branches of National Book Store and Pandayan Bookshop.


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Dealing with rejection by Marilyn Arayata – Inspirational Speaker, Author/Columnist


Of course, rejection hurts, and a series of rejections hurts even more – rejection of a job or loan application, business or wedding proposal, a solution to a problem, or even a simple invitation! Can you identify? There is always pain whenever somebody experiences rejection, but it does not mean a death sentence!

Wise people take every rejection just as a scratch. “Ouch!” Then they move on to the next plan or option. They know that rejections do not diminish their worth as persons and their abilities to accomplish great things. Rejections do not always mean their ideas are not okay. It is just that sometimes people have other priorities.

Did you know that the founders of the Reader’s Digest, one of the most widely-read magazines in the world, were rejected by several publishers? Did you know that Jack Ma, one of the richest Chinese men, was rejected by KFC? They did not dwell on the pain. They did not give up. Why should you?

The safest way to be is to “just be” – to stop saying or doing anything productive and meaningful… to avoid setting bigger goals and expanding one’s horizon. But life, as one philosopher once said, is “never just a being”. It is “a becoming, a relentless flowing on”.

For those who believe that life must never be stagnant, for people who refuse to accept complacence as a way of life, rejections are inevitable. They do not keep a record of rejections… no flashback, so they do not feel the pain anymore, just the excitement of working on the next option.

Do not be onion-skinned when people say “No” or when you don’t hear from them. Remember  Jack Ma and the founders of the Reader’s Digest. Life is a series of options! Possibilities are endless.

Like and share this column if you agree.

(Marilyn Arayata: hope and enthusiasm advocate/inspirational author and speaker. E-mail

*First appeared in my column, Inspire and Equip! (Tempo, Manila Bulletin Publishing Corp.) Sept. 18, 2016

All rights reserved.

No part of this work may be reproduced, photocopied, stored in a retrieval system, broadcast, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.